WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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