if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize