i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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