finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
