It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We are all done wearing pants today
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
