I'm laying in your front yard are you home
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
