omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I will pee on everything he values.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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