and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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