Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize