508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He uses pillows to masturbate.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
