its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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