Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
