So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
