ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
