Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
