you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize