i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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