I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
They have beer where we have blood.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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