we're blogging at a bar
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize