Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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