While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
