the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
