I want to stick my p in your. b.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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