Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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