I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
