No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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