she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
