i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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