you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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