I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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