none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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