just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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