Don't make out with my wife yet
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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