Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Green mimosas i think yes
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Randomize
