I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize