I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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