wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize