Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
