that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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