i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
