Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
