It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
