i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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