I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize