Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
