Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize