eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
