okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
