Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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