I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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