Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
