So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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