is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
