I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
