If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
