chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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