Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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