i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
