you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
