Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize