Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
