Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i think i have herpe
just one?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
