i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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