he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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