took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
A bitchslap is in order.
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