When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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